{"id":30337,"date":"2020-05-31T21:16:26","date_gmt":"2020-05-31T21:16:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/?p=30337"},"modified":"2020-05-31T21:16:28","modified_gmt":"2020-05-31T21:16:28","slug":"it-was-a-dark-and-stormy-night","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/?p=30337","title":{"rendered":"It Was A Dark And Stormy Night&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:4787,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/protestjobs.com&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20260417032632\\\/https:\\\/\\\/protestjobs.com\\\/&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/protestjobs.com\\\/&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-18 23:35:23&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-18 23:35:23&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p><em>This is a short guest post from <a href=\"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/2020\/05\/31\/the-sars-cov-2-pandemic-has-given-us-two-very-successful-experiments-in-social-control-one-global-one-national.html\" class=\"rank-math-link\"><strong>ScotShot<\/strong><\/a>. In it, he theorizes about the true origins of the shortage of a consumer product with which we are all familiar.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It was a dark and stormy night on K street sometime in early January. Adam Longneck had been pestering Lady P about some virus that was going to turn Orange Man Bad into Orange Man Gone, but no-one was paying attention to him since he blew out the impeachment. Nonetheless, Lady P was desperate. So she had grudgingly agreed to let some failing interns do what they could to come up with ideas that would turn a pending infection from China into a national panic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It was after bed-time and the chilled Ketel One had run out ages ago. The button downs were unfastened and there wasn\u2019t a Windsor knot to be seen. Karen was poking the eyes of the bunny on her sweater with a ballpoint and Tyler was using lip-balm for the tenth time that hour he rubbed his chin and was temporarily distracted by the lack of growth since that morning. Not that it was worrying him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> \u2026 \u201cOK, OK, these are great ideas, but Lady P needs something to get it going. We need, we need a trigger..\u201d \u201cWhat do we HAVE, people?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There was silence, then a Karen-in-the-Korner raised her hand. Tyler sighs. \u201cOK, what?\u201d KK says, \u201cToilet paper.. \u201c A hush settles in the room and then high fives all round.. The Android gets tapped.. \u201cmm-hmm.. yup.. it\u2019s us.. you can tell her we got it &#8230; tell her to call the people at <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/protestjobs.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"rank-math-link\"><strong>http:\/\/protestjobs.com\/<\/strong><\/a>&#8220;<\/p>\n<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is a short guest post from ScotShot. In it, he theorizes about the true origins of the shortage&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[21,353,5184],"class_list":["post-30337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-humor","tag-satire","tag-scotshot"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30337","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30337"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30337\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30340,"href":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30337\/revisions\/30340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30337"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30337"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlygunsandmoney.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30337"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}