humor

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Move Over Tiger Moms

March 26, 2011 by

And make way for Irish Setter Dads!

P. J. O’Rourke says he is an Irish Setter Dad  in The Weekly Standard.

I just wasn’t cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I’m more of an Irish Setter Dad. Here are some of the things my daughters, Muffin and Poppet, and my son, Buster, were never allowed to do:

• go to Mass naked

• attend a sleepover at Charlie Sheen’s house

• mix Daddy a martini using sweet vermouth

• play the violin within earshot of me

Have you ever heard a kid learning to play the violin? A cat in the microwave is nothing to it. And let me add an addendum to the things my children were never allowed to do​—​put a cat in the microwave. I’m not saying it didn’t happen; I’m just saying they weren’t allowed to do it.

If you are a parent and feeling you’ll never measure up to Amy Chua’s Tiger Mom, just read O’Rourke and you’ll feel better. Or have your spouse and kids rolling their eyes because you are laughing at the computer again.

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Fashion Trends And Concealed Carry

February 12, 2011 by 4 Comments

In the concealed carry world, fanny packs and photographer’s vests – while comfortable and effective – have been characterized as “shoot me first” tip-offs. They are obvious. Well, obvious at least to those who have some familiarity with concealed carry and firearms. And, it is said, to crooks.

Now, thanks to high fashion that may be changing at least for the fanny pack. Just don’t call them fanny packs. Fashion designers prefer the new hipper name of “bum bag” or “hands free bag”. The prices also reflect it. As reported in the Wall Street Journal, Korean-American handbag designer Sang A Im-Propp sells her alligator “belt bag” for $1,995.

So now, women at least can have the belt bag or bum bag for concealed carry and be considered high fashion.

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First There Were the Birthers…

August 24, 2010 by

Now there are the Existers. According to the Borowitz Report, one in five Americans does not believe Barack Obama exists.

“The Birthers say that Obama’s lack of a birth certificate means he was born in Kenya,” says Jerrilene Rance, a leading Exister. “We believe it’s proof that he was never born.”

Ms. Rance says that while President George W. Bush was criticized for disappearing every August, “Obama is never there to begin with.”

 I can’t speak to the legitimacy of their claims but I do know that a bunch of angry fishermen plan a protest in Vineyard Haven to coincide with the Obama family vacation.