humor

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Move Over Super Bowl – It’s Time For Super Barrel II

February 1, 2020 by 2 Comments

If the impeachment trial in the Senate hasn’t caused you to ditch television entirely, you know that tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday. That’s where one set of oversized rich guys beat up on another set of oversized rich guys to see who will get even richer.

Yeah, well, whatever.

The exciting news is that Brownells will be holding Super Barrel II!

From Brownells:

GRINNELL, Iowa (January 31, 2020) – Brownells will give away a barrel full of freedom during the biggest pro football Sunday of the year with its Super Barrel II Weekend extravaganza.

One lucky Brownells fan will bring home the championship-worthy trophy of a barrel full of 13,889 rounds of 5.56mm NATO Hornady Frontier 55-grain M193 ammo.

Starting at 12:01 AM Saturday, February 1, and going through 11:59 PM Sunday, February 2, Super Barrel II contestants can sign up for their chance to win at the Brownells Super Barrel II page.

One lucky winner will be drawn by random and will receive the big red barrel full of ‘Merica valued at $4,239.99.

Containing enough ammo to fill almost 70 standard-length belts for an M249, the barrel weighs more than all but the very biggest football linemen. If all 13,889 cartridges contained inside were laid to end-to-end, they would stretch over 870 yards — almost twice as far as the most passing yards ever in a modern pro football championship game.

Just think what you could do with that amount of ammo!

You could give the Demanding Moms, the Cult of Personality known as Giffords, AND Brady United the collective vapors.

It could make Mike Bloomberg’s campaign against Big Gulps looks as small as he is.

Or it could give you enough ammo to become really proficient with your AR-15!

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Voted Most Likely

December 30, 2019 by 1 Comment
Courtesy of Patrick Henry HS

Most senior class superlatives are voted on before you actually graduate from high school. The young man above, a graduate of Patrick Henry High School, Class of 1967, was given a superlative long after graduation.

According to Dan Casey, a pundit with the Roanoke Times, he was awarded the Best Pay Raise for a Patrick Henry High School Graduate.

If the young man looks somewhat familiar, picture him at age 70 wearing frameless glasses and a very expensive navy blue suit.

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An Explanation Of “Assault Rifles”

November 6, 2019 by

If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, you know I love infographics. The Babylon Bee, a Christian satire site, has come up with an explanation for “assault rifles” (sic) which is a hoot.

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Move Over 80% Lowers!

October 11, 2019 by 3 Comments

80% lowers have been around for a while now. In some areas like California if you finish one, you have to apply for a serial number, pay a fee, and then engrave the finished lower.

The term 80% lower or frame comes from a BATFE determination that it isn’t a firearm if it is only 80% finished. Thus, there is no NICS check on an 80% lower or frame and it can be mailed to you. Given it was a determination by BATFE, you know it can be changed at any time.

Here is an alternative.

You say it is only a chunk of 6061-T6 aluminum. Not so fast. According to the manufacturer, it is the 0% billet AR-15 lower receiver. It helps to have your own CNC machine or a Bridgeport milling machine. I guess you could go all Khyber Pass and finish it strictly with hand tools. Both methods are beyond my level of skill so I’m stuck with off-the-shelf lowers from Aero-Precision, Anderson, or Spikes.

The manufacturer, 80% Arms, adds that they are restricting sale to the USA only.

While these weapons are not regulated under ITAR yet, we still don’t want these dangerous things to get into the hands of the wrong people, like Kim Jong-un. Therefore, shipping of 0% lowers is strictly limited to USA only. 

Well played, sirs, well played.

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Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

September 20, 2019 by 1 Comment

Arrgh! I didn’t even know there was such a thing until I read about it on Reddit’s rum subreddit. September 19th is international talk like a pirate day. Believe it or not but this is the 17th year it has been celebrated. Pretty good for something that originated with a poor game of racquetball.

But since we are talking about pirates, other than parrots, peg-legs, and doubloons, what is more associated with them than rum? Now a good rum is a thing of sublime beauty that can rival the best whiskeys. Then there is the stuff that even a mixer like Coca-Cola can’t make drinkable.

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Tweet Of The Day

September 4, 2019 by 1 Comment

It would be hard to top this tweet for a tweet of the day or even the week.

Just as a side note, how can you have a buy back when it was never owned by the buyer in the first place?

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Every Local TV Story Should Feature Billy

August 10, 2019 by 2 Comments

City workers in Huntington, WV cut down a tree that was a hazard due to limbs breaking off. Unfortunately, the tree didn’t fall where they wanted it to go. The full story is here at WSAZ.

That was sad for the young lady whose Fiat 500 was destroyed. However, out of this comes a new hero of local TV news. That hero is Billy Tatum. You can hear why is the excerpt that has gone viral on Twitter.

Don’t you just know every local TV reporter who wants to make it to the big time wishes they had Billy Tatum in their highlight reel.

In case you have trouble with West Virginia accents, here is what Billy had to say.

“It sounded like a beer can getting flattened,” Tatum said. “It just was ‘crunch.’ I hate to say it, but it was kind of cool, you know? What guy doesn’t like destruction. That’s why we go to demolition derbies, but hey, the bottom line is that’s that girl’s new car, and she can’t get to school now.”

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Apples To Associations

July 24, 2019 by 3 Comments

A friend sent me this today. It is a take-off on probably the most famous Super Bowl advertisement of all time. If you’ve never seen it, you can see the original on YouTube.

1984

Today, we celebrate the first glorious manifestation of the Information Purification Directives. We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure greed—where any Officer, Director, Vendor, Consultant or other Snout-in-the-Trough may profit, secure from the vermin purveying contradictory truths. Our Unification of Thoughts is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on earth. We are one Official Family, with one will, one resolve, one cause. Our enemies shall talk themselves to death, and we will bury them with their own confusion. The Cult of the Personality shall prevail!

2019

BRING ON THE GIRL WITH THE SLEDGEHAMMER!

h/t Nathan K.

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Brownell’s Releases The BRN-134D Minigun

April 1, 2019 by 2 Comments

A full-auto minigun would be a NFA item and probably would run afoul of the Hughes Amendment. However, Brownells has recently released a semi-auto version of the minigun. It isn’t cheap but I could see buying a few of these if I had been the lucky person in Wisconsin who just won the Powerball lottery last week.

They say:

In this special edition of our weekly Brownells new products vlog, Paul Levy shows us the new BRN-134D™ Minigun. Developed in partnership Dillon Aero, the BRN-134D is the latest addition to Brownells line of detail-correct semi-auto clones of military firearms. It sports all the standard Minigun features: rotary barrel system with 6 ordnance-grade steel barrels chambered in 7.62×51 NATO, electric-powered motor, disintegrating link feed chute, and a 3,000 round ammo box. The BRN-134D comes with a Picatinny rail up top for the red dot or scope of your choice (optic not included) and an aircraft-mountable stand of rugged, powder-coated steel (included). The price? Surprisingly reasonable!

 Paul Levy has a different idea of “surprisingly reasonable” than me. That said, you are getting a lot of weapon for your $125,000.