Some Humor To Start Your Monday Morning

It’s a Southern Thing is one of my favorite humor sites. They have been running a series on the correct pronunciation of towns in various southern states. They have arrived at North Carolina and the results are funny.

As a native North Carolinian and life-long resident, I should note that some of these are hard even for us. I did OK on the western and Piedmont names but got a bit lost on some of the coastal NC names. I had 11 correct and four wrong which is probably because I grew up in the Piedmont and moved to the mountains in my 20s.

I’m a bit surprised that they didn’t include some more Cherokee names like Lake Junaluska or the name of my favorite NC town which is Whynot.

A Little Shopping Humor

Sorry I haven’t posted before today this week. You know how every one speaks of coming home with the SHOT Show (or NRA Annual Meeting) crud? Well, it seems in my case it was the pre-SHOT crud. With luck, this means I will have immunity to anything and everything for the coming week of SHOT Show and afterwards.

In the meantime, here is a little something from A Southern Thing. I think we all have been asked most of these questions when shopping in a store. Well, most of them anyway.

Well That Explains It!

If you have ever taken a firearm apart for cleaning or tried to assemble your own AR lower, you have had a part or two that flew off and was damn near impossible to find. We have all experienced it at some time or another.

Today, I read the best explanation as to why these small parts like a detent pin and detent spring are impossible to find after being launched into near space from your kitchen table or workbench. It has nothing to with their size but everything to do with Einsteinian physics.

The reason those parts that go flying are almost never found – because a
spring is causing the flying, they accelerate rapidly. In fact they reach
a very high speed, almost the speed of light. At the speed of light, time
shifting starts to occur. So those parts are time traveling. Sometime the
parts aren’t there yet when you look for them. Maybe try next week…

Brian in MI

Time traveling parts. Well that explains it. I guess I need to move my thought processes beyond that of Newtonian physics.

A Message From Medium Amanda

This post has nothing to do with lawyers – not even election lawyers. It has nothing to do with guns – not even gun control. And this post has might have something to do with money as in an email scam. We all get spam and we probably all have received emails from Nigerian princes or the widow of a long deposed African dictator offering a share of the wealth if we help them collect it.

However, this email was different. It was from a medium named Amanda who is offering to “bend fate in my favour”. The only problem is that Medium Amanda hasn’t quite figured out how to customize her emails to each and every recipient.

Dear firstname,


Your energy came to me in a beautiful vision. I see that you are at a crossroads. You can pick either side: fortune will smile upon you, or disaster will strike.


I possess the gift to bend fate in your favour. This means that your cash flows will considerably increase within the foreseeable future.


All I need is your approval to change your destiny. I need some information from you in order to tell you exactly what you have to do to build your fortune.


If you do not take any action within 5 days, I can no longer help you avoid your fate. Click the link below so that I can tell you how you can realize your biggest dreams.


This is top priority for me, so let me give you the answer as soon as possible.


Love,
Medium Amanda

Medium Amanda even included a picture of herself!

The cynic in me thinks that this picture of Medium Amanda kind of looks like a stock photo and that her offer to help me realize my biggest dreams probably is a scam. Nonetheless, I am selfish so will keep her link of an offer of help all to myself.

And to all the Medium Amandas out there, thank you for giving me something to write about on a cold, damp, grey Monday morning.

Comment Of The Day

You may have read about the active shooter event at Topsail High School in Pender County, NC that turned out to be a malfunctioning hot water heater. It made many news sources this morning.

One reader on the Firearms and Politics email list had this comment about it.

Don’t relax yet. David Hogg is claiming that the water heater was funded by Russian money funneled through the NRA. Film at 11.

After this week, we need something to laugh about and especially if it is at the expense of the gun prohibitionists.

National Vodka Day? Nyet!

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October 4th in National Vodka Day. I’m old enough to remember when vodka came in one flavor. Now you can get flavors ranging from birthday cake and bubble gum to virtually any flavor of citrus you could come up with.

I’m not a vodka aficionado. It serves its purpose in some cocktails like a Bloody Mary but that is about it. I’m more of the opinion of author Fred Minnick as expressed in his tweet today.

Moreover, as Liberty Pole Spirits makes clear in this tweet, there never was a Vodka Rebellion. I think the primary purpose of vodka was to keep the serfs from rising up and even that failed.

Headline Of The Day

The headline of the day comes from an online story in American Handgunner magazine.

American Handgunner Guide To Picking Your Nose

It actually has nothing to do with your body parts and everything to do with the shape of your handgun bullets. Stuff like wadcutter, semi-wadcutter, flat nose, and round nose bullets when you are talking about cast bullets with others for jacketed bullets.

As Tank Hoover notes in this article:

As you can see, a lot of thought is involved in picking your nose for getting the best results. Besides nose style, we’ve yet to discuss alloy hardness and bullet lubes for cast bullets. Then there’s the choice of plain base or gas checked bottoms. Powder Coating, of which I’m a firm believer in its attributes, is another option.

Jacketed bullets have far less options than their cast brethren. Besides nose-styles, cannelures are about the only other option. Cannelures are useful for crimping bullets into place, while non-cannelure are used for taper crimped bullets used in semi-autos, where the cartridge seats on the case neck.

Who would have thought there was so much involved in picking your nose, let alone, the right bullet, to get the results you want and need? There’s nothing wrong with being picky — if you’re after certain results.

It is a good article with a great headline.

Humor On The Bench

Earlier this month, recently seated Judge Don Willett of the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals wrote his first opinion in case involving sentencing enhancements. Judge Willett when he was Justice Willett of the Texas Supreme Court was well-known for his humorous tweets on Twitter. Indeed the Texas House of Representatives named him “Tweeter Laureate”. Given this background, you might expect his opinions to have a bit of humor woven into them and you wouldn’t be wrong.

The case of US v. Maturino involved an appeal of the sentence received by Victor Maturino. Mr. Maturino thought he was buying 144 live grenades for a Mexican drug cartel. What he got was 143 duds and one live grenade. The other surprise for Mr. Maturino was that the ostensible seller was an undercover BATFE special agent who promptly arrested him when he handed over $35,000 in cash and took possession of the grenades (and other NFA items). The judge in the trial court gave Mr. Maturino an enhanced sentence because of the number of grenades involved in the illegal transaction. The appeal contended that he should have only been sentenced based on the number of live grenades he actually bought as opposed to the number he though he was getting.

The 5th Circuit rejected his appeal in an unanimous decision concluding that the trial court’s application of the Sentencing Guidelines including an enhanced sentence was correct.

Judge Willett concludes:

Victor Maturino requested 144 high-explosive grenades; he received 143
non-explosive grenades. This is a sentencing appeal, though, and what matters
for sentencing is what Maturino
actively sought, not what he actually bought.
Summing up, the sentencing court properly counted the number of firearms
involved in Maturino’s offense and did not miscalculate his sentence under the Guidelines. Maturino’s plan for live grenades fell short, but close counts in
horseshoes and hand-grenade cases.

All I’m going to add is that Judge Willett is an American treasure and I’d love to see him as a Justice on the Supreme Court.

“Calling for gun control while Hitler is in the White House makes you sound suicidal”

Comedian Lou Perez has produced a YouTube video entitled, “7 Things You Should Know Before Talking About Guns”. It is something everyone who is advocating for gun control should watch before opening their mouths.

Or maybe not. I kinda prefer the enemies of my rights to sound like the blithering idiots that they are.

One correction – “assault rifle” is more than a description of how a gun looks. He confuses that – like most in the media – with “assault weapon” which is a made-up term by Josh Sugarmann of the Violence Policy Center. An assault rifle is a select-fire rifle of intermediate caliber with a detachable magazine. A very early version would be something like the Sturmgewehr 44 which fired the 7.92×33 Kurz round.

H/T Legal Insurrection

Did They Really Have To Tell You This?

I’m reading over the list of items that are prohibited in your luggage when flying. I was trying to decide whether my camera batteries needed to be in my carry-on or checked luggage. In the category of things I learned while looking for something else come this from the TSA.

Can you believe that? Hand grenades are banned on planes even if they are in your checked luggage. They also listed dynamite as being banned. No word on C-4 or Claymore mines but I’m assuming they are a no go as well.

What Can I Bring?

Planning ahead and packing properly can facilitate the screening process and ease your travel experience at the airport. Know what you can pack in your carry-on and checked baggage before arriving at the airport by reviewing the lists below. Even if an item is generally permitted, it may be subject to additional screening or not allowed through the checkpoint if it triggers an alarm during the screening process, appears to have been tampered with, or poses other security concerns. Read about civil penalties for prohibited items.
For items not listed here, simply snap a picture or send a question to AskTSA on Facebook Messenger or Twitter. We look forward to answering your questions, from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. ET weekdays and 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. weekends/holidays.

The final decision rests with the TSA officer on whether an item is allowed through the checkpoint.

Flammables 


Hand Grenades



  • Carry On Bags: No
  • Checked Bags: No