Stuff You Just Can’t Make Up

I get all sorts of press releases in my email. Lately, in addition to what I get from the gun industry and publishers, I have been getting releases from all sorts of progressive groups. I’m guessing that their thought process is to shoot them out and some might hit the target audience.

Well, the following one is going to be published but not for the reasons that the sender intended. It is from the Satanic Temple and it is announcing a Valentine’s Day fundraiser (Hugs and Kisses from Satan) to fund its pro-abortion lawsuits in Missouri.

Literally. Really.

Even with the most fertile imagination, the communications director for National Right To Life could not make this up. Think about it: Devil worshipers holding a fundraiser on a day named for a Christian saint to promote the killing of an unborn child. It just boggles the mind. I don’t care where you stand on the position of abortion it doesn’t get more ludicrous than this.

The release in its entirety so I can’t be accused of selective editing:

Satanic Temple Celebrates Valentine’s Day with Fundraising Drive to
Support Reproductive Rights Lawsuits Against State of Missouri

and Kisses for Satan” fundraiser drive seeking sponsors across the
United States to engage in constructive and pro-social activities that
benefit and build communities.

(National) February 9, 2017The Satanic Temple
is seeking sponsors for its Valentine’s Day fundraising drive, “Hugs
and Kisses for Satan,” which is aimed to support the Temple’s
reproductive rights lawsuits against the state of Missouri’s mandatory
abortion waiting periods and reading materials that claim life begins at
conception. The Temple objects to these State requirements on religious

Satanic Temple has filed both State and Federal lawsuits against the
State of Missouri on behalf of Mary Doe, a pregnant woman seeking an
abortion. Missouri law requires that all women seeking to lawfully
terminate their pregnancy must be given reading material claiming that
life begins at conception, and they must endure a 72-hour waiting period
between their initial appointment and their actual abortion procedure.
The Temple objects to these restrictions on religious grounds because
they violate the Temple’s belief in the inviolability of one’s body.

How to participate:

  • Download Pledge Sheet here;
  • Download Contact Sheet here;
  • Download XO Card here;
  • Find sponsors who will contribute for every hug or kiss you receive on Valentine’s Day;
  • Fill-out each sponsor’s information on the Pledge Sheet;
  • On
    Valentine’s Day, solicit hugs and kisses using the XO Card and ask the
    people who hug or kiss you to write their initials on the Contact Sheet;
  • After
    Valentine’s Day, collect contributions from your sponsors based on the
    number of hugs and kisses you received. Contributions and Contact Sheet
    should be forwarded to The Satanic Temple by either PayPal or mail (as a
    check or money order) by Feb. 28.

Mailing address:
The Satanic Temple, 64 Bridge Street, Salem, MA 01970

PayPal address:
Prizes will be awarded to the individual who raises the most money, hugs, and kisses.
Questions regarding the event can be emailed to
and Kisses for Satan” is the first in a series of campaigns the Temple
is promoting as a means by which people can engage in constructive and
pro-social activities that benefit and build communities. Next year, the
Temple hopes to launch a “My Blood Valentine” blood drive.

About The Satanic Temple
mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy
among all people, reject tyrannical authority, advocate practical common
sense and justice, and be directed by the human conscience to undertake
noble pursuits guided by the individual will. Civic-minded, The Satanic
Temple has been involved in a number of good works including taking a
stand against the controversial and extremist Westboro Baptist Church.
For more information about The Satanic Temple, please visit

PS: Their media relations are handled by this company.

Bet She Could Get A Job With TSA!

An Idaho woman posing as a plastic surgeon duped at least two women into letting her “examine” their breasts in a Boise bar and nightclub.

Kristina Ross, 37, remains in Ada County Jail in Boise on two felony counts of practicing medicine without a license.

Police say Ross introduced herself to victims — one at a downtown Boise bar and the other at a nightclub in a Boise suburb — as a plastic surgeon named Berlyn Aussieahshowna, a name that turned out to be bogus.

The two women told Boise officers they believed Ross was a physician because of her apparent medical knowledge, and they agreed to undergo what they thought were breast exams, which happened at the bars.

Dr. Berlyn Aussieahshowna ? Who in their right mind would go to a surgeon named Aussieahshowna? Heck, I can’t even begin to pronounce it.

Even more astounding is that they let her examine their breasts in a bar. It sounds like something out of the movie Animal House with Eric Stratton aka Otter doing the examining.

H/T Sister Toldjah

Beach Kill – the New Roadkill?

When a 7-foot pygmy sperm whale beached itself and then died on Delray Beach in Florida, Chris Hogan didn’t hesitate. He whipped out his knife and cut off a two foot section of it including the tail fin. He had plans to eat the thin layer of meat beneath the skin and then use the fins for soup.

There was only one problem. It is illegal under Florida law as well as under the federal Marine Mammals Act to even possess parts of a whale. A lifeguard informed him of the law after he had cut off the section and then the police and wildlife officials were called.

The Palm Beach Post News has both pictures and video to go with the story.

Mr. Hogan, who has been unemployed for two years, apologized to the State of Florida and said he didn’t know it was illegal. He does worry about the fines which could go as high as $800 for a first offense. There is no word whether the Feds will charge him with violating the Marine Mammals Act as well.

The money quote for lovers of roadkill – or in this case beach kill – was this:

Hogan said he wasn’t worried about health issues because the body still was warm and there was only one fly on it.

“The tide was still going out. So it (the whale) hadn’t been there that long. The sand was still wet,” he said.

There was no word on whether Mr. Hogan had a copy of The Original Roadkill Cookbook.

H/T Camo Underground.