I think my view from the porch this week is a little different than Tam’s.
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Eric Holder announced that he was shocked, shocked! to find that there were leaks of classified information from the Obama administration, and he would investigate it immediately. I have no idea how the newscaster read that line with a straight face; this is like expecting the minister for Reich security in 1940s Germany to investigate the mysterious disappearance of Jews.
Here in western North Carolina, the hippies, Yankees, and vegans have turned organic grocery stores like EarthFare, Greenlife, and the French Broad River Co-op into shrines for politically correct food. The next time I’m tempted to go shopping at one of these places I’ll remember these wise words from Tam.
People browse the organic breakfast food shelves for the muesli that tastes most like authentic sawmill floor sweepings, because that’s how you know it’s good for you. It’s not food, it’s a hair shirt you eat. When you’re doing penance for not going jogging this morning or for having that extra martini last night, it’s not supposed to taste good.
I’ll leave the hair shirts to the long dead saints and mystics.
When multi-millionaire NBA stars are joining “million hoodie marches” and when you are shocked that the name “Trayvon” was not uttered in the news round-up on CBS Sunday Morning, you know the whole Zimmerman-Martin affair has jumped the shark.
Thrown into this media circus is a sage, yet snarky, comment from Tam:
I wish the media would find another ball to chase soon. I have never hoped for some random celebrity to choke on their last cookie so hard in my life. Elton John would probably do. He’d wipe the whole Zimmerman/Martin thing right off the front page, and he’s kinda past his Sell-By date, anyway. I mean, all he’s done in the last twenty years is release more re-recordings of songs about dead blondes, right? Come on, Elton, how about leaning in over the plate and taking one for the team?
I can see the epitaph now – “He was just walking down a yellow brick road listening to some crocodile rock and dreaming of being a rocket man when he was beaten by a deaf dumb and blind kid (who) sure plays a mean pinball.”
Today is the day that pools at commercial establishments such as hotels and motels must have a permanent wheelchair lift so as to comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act. This is going to be enforced by the Civil Rights Division, Disability Rights Section of the Department of Justice. Many hotels and motels will probably be closing off access to their pools until they can comply with this mandate for fear of being sued by DOJ. In other words, no one swims, able bodied and disabled alike.
However, as Tam notes:
Fair’s fair, and here in America, we’re all about “fair”. It’s one of the founding principles laid out in the Monroe Doctrine by Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King. I remember that from school.
Ah, yes, fairness.
The Today Show ran a new feature called The Rossen Report where their so-called investigative reporter Jeff Rossen was shocked(!) to find that people used the Internet to advertise guns for sale. Tam applies a industrial-grade smackdown as only she can do.
I demand that we close the Going Wherever You Want Loophole! If we checked everyone for government issued photo ID as they walked out their front door, we could prevent sidewalks from being superhighways for criminals, but the ACLU has vowed to fight any such legislation.
That’s about the level of logic on display here, wherein some de-beaked, cage-raised Manhattanite makes the discovery that the barbarians in far-off free-range America, ‘way across the Hudson, are allowed to sell their personal property to each other without going through an orgy of forelock-tugging and Mother-may-I down at the cop shop.
Suck it, media boy. I know this may come as a shock to you, but hardly anybody’s even listening to you anymore. Maybe the steady hemorrhage of Nielsen ratings has caused an hypoxia-inducing vacuum in the studio, but even non-president Al Gore can tell you that you’re on the wrong side of history on this one; I’m sure you have him on speed dial down there at msnbc, so call him and ask him.
For another fisking of this (non) story, can be found on YouTube here. The last time anyone paid any attention to Jeff Rossen was when he appeared in Michael Moore’s Bowling for Columbine. Of course, it wasn’t serious attention.
The quote of the day comes from Tam regarding the authors of the Dodd–Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act.
Christopher Dodd and Barney Frank, a pair of career tax leeches on the cursus dishonorum, neither of whom has soiled their patrician hands with an honest day’s work in their life, are going to bring sense to financial markets and look out for the well-being of the little guy? Yeah, right.
And I think she is unfortunately correct that the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau will eventually have its own SWAT team. It just won’t have a director if Obama continues to nominate hyper-partisan types and the Senate maintains a backbone.