humor

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Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

September 20, 2019 by 1 Comment

Arrgh! I didn’t even know there was such a thing until I read about it on Reddit’s rum subreddit. September 19th is international talk like a pirate day. Believe it or not but this is the 17th year it has been celebrated. Pretty good for something that originated with a poor game of racquetball.

But since we are talking about pirates, other than parrots, peg-legs, and doubloons, what is more associated with them than rum? Now a good rum is a thing of sublime beauty that can rival the best whiskeys. Then there is the stuff that even a mixer like Coca-Cola can’t make drinkable.

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Tweet Of The Day

September 4, 2019 by 1 Comment

It would be hard to top this tweet for a tweet of the day or even the week.

Just as a side note, how can you have a buy back when it was never owned by the buyer in the first place?

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Every Local TV Story Should Feature Billy

August 10, 2019 by 2 Comments

City workers in Huntington, WV cut down a tree that was a hazard due to limbs breaking off. Unfortunately, the tree didn’t fall where they wanted it to go. The full story is here at WSAZ.

That was sad for the young lady whose Fiat 500 was destroyed. However, out of this comes a new hero of local TV news. That hero is Billy Tatum. You can hear why is the excerpt that has gone viral on Twitter.

Don’t you just know every local TV reporter who wants to make it to the big time wishes they had Billy Tatum in their highlight reel.

In case you have trouble with West Virginia accents, here is what Billy had to say.

“It sounded like a beer can getting flattened,” Tatum said. “It just was ‘crunch.’ I hate to say it, but it was kind of cool, you know? What guy doesn’t like destruction. That’s why we go to demolition derbies, but hey, the bottom line is that’s that girl’s new car, and she can’t get to school now.”

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Apples To Associations

July 24, 2019 by 3 Comments

A friend sent me this today. It is a take-off on probably the most famous Super Bowl advertisement of all time. If you’ve never seen it, you can see the original on YouTube.

1984

Today, we celebrate the first glorious manifestation of the Information Purification Directives. We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure greed—where any Officer, Director, Vendor, Consultant or other Snout-in-the-Trough may profit, secure from the vermin purveying contradictory truths. Our Unification of Thoughts is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on earth. We are one Official Family, with one will, one resolve, one cause. Our enemies shall talk themselves to death, and we will bury them with their own confusion. The Cult of the Personality shall prevail!

2019

BRING ON THE GIRL WITH THE SLEDGEHAMMER!

h/t Nathan K.

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Brownell’s Releases The BRN-134D Minigun

April 1, 2019 by 2 Comments

A full-auto minigun would be a NFA item and probably would run afoul of the Hughes Amendment. However, Brownells has recently released a semi-auto version of the minigun. It isn’t cheap but I could see buying a few of these if I had been the lucky person in Wisconsin who just won the Powerball lottery last week.

They say:

In this special edition of our weekly Brownells new products vlog, Paul Levy shows us the new BRN-134D™ Minigun. Developed in partnership Dillon Aero, the BRN-134D is the latest addition to Brownells line of detail-correct semi-auto clones of military firearms. It sports all the standard Minigun features: rotary barrel system with 6 ordnance-grade steel barrels chambered in 7.62×51 NATO, electric-powered motor, disintegrating link feed chute, and a 3,000 round ammo box. The BRN-134D comes with a Picatinny rail up top for the red dot or scope of your choice (optic not included) and an aircraft-mountable stand of rugged, powder-coated steel (included). The price? Surprisingly reasonable!

 Paul Levy has a different idea of “surprisingly reasonable” than me. That said, you are getting a lot of weapon for your $125,000.

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The Ultimate Camo!

April 1, 2019 by

UF Pro has just announced they are releasing a new camo pattern. It should work in the deer stand, the duck blind, and, most importantly, for our armed forces wherever they may be. It truly is a universal camo.

This camo is so universal that they makers are calling it Invisible Camo.

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Some Humor To Start Your Monday Morning

March 11, 2019 by 1 Comment

It’s a Southern Thing is one of my favorite humor sites. They have been running a series on the correct pronunciation of towns in various southern states. They have arrived at North Carolina and the results are funny.

As a native North Carolinian and life-long resident, I should note that some of these are hard even for us. I did OK on the western and Piedmont names but got a bit lost on some of the coastal NC names. I had 11 correct and four wrong which is probably because I grew up in the Piedmont and moved to the mountains in my 20s.

I’m a bit surprised that they didn’t include some more Cherokee names like Lake Junaluska or the name of my favorite NC town which is Whynot.

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A Little Shopping Humor

January 16, 2019 by

Sorry I haven’t posted before today this week. You know how every one speaks of coming home with the SHOT Show (or NRA Annual Meeting) crud? Well, it seems in my case it was the pre-SHOT crud. With luck, this means I will have immunity to anything and everything for the coming week of SHOT Show and afterwards.

In the meantime, here is a little something from A Southern Thing. I think we all have been asked most of these questions when shopping in a store. Well, most of them anyway.

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Well That Explains It!

December 3, 2018 by 2 Comments

If you have ever taken a firearm apart for cleaning or tried to assemble your own AR lower, you have had a part or two that flew off and was damn near impossible to find. We have all experienced it at some time or another.

Today, I read the best explanation as to why these small parts like a detent pin and detent spring are impossible to find after being launched into near space from your kitchen table or workbench. It has nothing to with their size but everything to do with Einsteinian physics.

The reason those parts that go flying are almost never found – because a
spring is causing the flying, they accelerate rapidly. In fact they reach
a very high speed, almost the speed of light. At the speed of light, time
shifting starts to occur. So those parts are time traveling. Sometime the
parts aren’t there yet when you look for them. Maybe try next week…

Brian in MI

Time traveling parts. Well that explains it. I guess I need to move my thought processes beyond that of Newtonian physics.

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A Message From Medium Amanda

November 12, 2018 by 2 Comments

This post has nothing to do with lawyers – not even election lawyers. It has nothing to do with guns – not even gun control. And this post has might have something to do with money as in an email scam. We all get spam and we probably all have received emails from Nigerian princes or the widow of a long deposed African dictator offering a share of the wealth if we help them collect it.

However, this email was different. It was from a medium named Amanda who is offering to “bend fate in my favour”. The only problem is that Medium Amanda hasn’t quite figured out how to customize her emails to each and every recipient.

Dear firstname,


Your energy came to me in a beautiful vision. I see that you are at a crossroads. You can pick either side: fortune will smile upon you, or disaster will strike.


I possess the gift to bend fate in your favour. This means that your cash flows will considerably increase within the foreseeable future.


All I need is your approval to change your destiny. I need some information from you in order to tell you exactly what you have to do to build your fortune.


If you do not take any action within 5 days, I can no longer help you avoid your fate. Click the link below so that I can tell you how you can realize your biggest dreams.


This is top priority for me, so let me give you the answer as soon as possible.


Love,
Medium Amanda

Medium Amanda even included a picture of herself!

The cynic in me thinks that this picture of Medium Amanda kind of looks like a stock photo and that her offer to help me realize my biggest dreams probably is a scam. Nonetheless, I am selfish so will keep her link of an offer of help all to myself.

And to all the Medium Amandas out there, thank you for giving me something to write about on a cold, damp, grey Monday morning.