It Was A Dark And Stormy Night…

This is a short guest post from ScotShot. In it, he theorizes about the true origins of the shortage of a consumer product with which we are all familiar.

It was a dark and stormy night on K street sometime in early January. Adam Longneck had been pestering Lady P about some virus that was going to turn Orange Man Bad into Orange Man Gone, but no-one was paying attention to him since he blew out the impeachment. Nonetheless, Lady P was desperate. So she had grudgingly agreed to let some failing interns do what they could to come up with ideas that would turn a pending infection from China into a national panic.

It was after bed-time and the chilled Ketel One had run out ages ago. The button downs were unfastened and there wasn’t a Windsor knot to be seen. Karen was poking the eyes of the bunny on her sweater with a ballpoint and Tyler was using lip-balm for the tenth time that hour he rubbed his chin and was temporarily distracted by the lack of growth since that morning. Not that it was worrying him.

… “OK, OK, these are great ideas, but Lady P needs something to get it going. We need, we need a trigger..” “What do we HAVE, people?”

There was silence, then a Karen-in-the-Korner raised her hand. Tyler sighs. “OK, what?” KK says, “Toilet paper.. “ A hush settles in the room and then high fives all round.. The Android gets tapped.. “mm-hmm.. yup.. it’s us.. you can tell her we got it … tell her to call the people at http://protestjobs.com/

If Fast Food Was Sold Like Guns

It should come as no surprise that the gun prohibitionists are in a tizzy because the BATFE has adopted sensible regulations during this time of COVID-19. The regulations allow gun dealers to use drive-in windows or a table in front of their store so as ensure social distancing. It never absolved them of running a NICS check or having a Form 4473 filled out.

Kris Brown, co-president of Brady United, opined, “We should not need to say this, but guns should not be sold like fast-food burgers or lemonade.”

That’s a nice little sound bite but lets look at what it would look like if fast food was actually sold like guns.

During this time of stay-at-home orders and eating your own cooking everyday, you decide you need a treat. You decide you want a BigMac, large fries, and a chocolate shake from McDonalds. If you don’t like McDonalds, it could just as well be a Whopper from Burger King.

To make it go faster you place your order over the Internet using the McDonalds’ app. After all, you’ve know about the Internet loophole from reading the literature of the food safety groups (formerly known as food control).

You arrive at the drive-thru window anxious to pick up your BigMac, fries, and shake. Instead of handing you your meal, the cashier ask you to fill out the USDA’s Food & Nutrition Service’s Form FAST. She tells you that they will need to run a NICS (Nutritional Inventory Check System) check through the FDA.

You are flabbergasted. But what about the Internet loophole you say! The cashier says you always have had to fill out Form FAST and have a NICS check even if you bought it over the Internet. You eventually get approval and go home to eat while grousing about the unfairness of it all.

However, imagine if you lived in Illinois or New Jersey or California.

In Illinois you would have to have your FFID (Fast Food ID) Card. If you were just visiting, the only way you could get it is if you had a non-resident eating permit. That also would be required if you just wanted to buy condiments.

Now in New Jersey, it gets a bit more cumbersome. There you would be required to apply for a Fast Food Application and Registration System permit in advance. To get the FFARS, you would have to submit an official cholesterol report and BMI to the nutritional police for their OK. Now if you wanted to get a Big Mac or Whopper that requires additional paperwork for your FFPID (Fast Food Purchasers ID). The rationale is that Big Macs are more dangerous than a simple hamburger.

That goes back to an effort by Josh Saccharine of the Food Violence Policy Center to confuse the general public by coining the term “assault burger”. He knew that a Big Mac had fewer calories than three slices of pizza but the average consumer would be wary of those people eating Big Macs because they were assault burgers.

Now assume our fast food consumer is in California. A regular Big Mac is banned because the State Nutritionist General has deemed it an Assault Burger. Thus, fast food restaurants have come up with California-compliant versions that replace the beef burger with a soy burger. Our man can still get his California-compliant Big Mac but he will have a 10 day wait to pick it up after placing his order, paying for it, and having the require background checks. If he wants extra ketchup, that requires a separate check.

If all of this seems a bit far-fetched, never underestimate the power of bureaucrats, nanny-state politicians, and anti-freedom groups to implement such a regime. They have done it for firearms which are actually mentioned in the Constitution so it isn’t that much of a stretch to see them do it for something that doesn’t have such Constitutional protections.

The point here is that when Kris Brown of Brady United or John Feinblatt of Everytown say that guns are being sold like fast food they are full of crap. You know it, I know it, and they know it.

Move Over Super Bowl – It’s Time For Super Barrel II

If the impeachment trial in the Senate hasn’t caused you to ditch television entirely, you know that tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday. That’s where one set of oversized rich guys beat up on another set of oversized rich guys to see who will get even richer.

Yeah, well, whatever.

The exciting news is that Brownells will be holding Super Barrel II!

From Brownells:

GRINNELL, Iowa (January 31, 2020) – Brownells will give away a barrel full of freedom during the biggest pro football Sunday of the year with its Super Barrel II Weekend extravaganza.

One lucky Brownells fan will bring home the championship-worthy trophy of a barrel full of 13,889 rounds of 5.56mm NATO Hornady Frontier 55-grain M193 ammo.

Starting at 12:01 AM Saturday, February 1, and going through 11:59 PM Sunday, February 2, Super Barrel II contestants can sign up for their chance to win at the Brownells Super Barrel II page.

One lucky winner will be drawn by random and will receive the big red barrel full of ‘Merica valued at $4,239.99.

Containing enough ammo to fill almost 70 standard-length belts for an M249, the barrel weighs more than all but the very biggest football linemen. If all 13,889 cartridges contained inside were laid to end-to-end, they would stretch over 870 yards — almost twice as far as the most passing yards ever in a modern pro football championship game.

Just think what you could do with that amount of ammo!

You could give the Demanding Moms, the Cult of Personality known as Giffords, AND Brady United the collective vapors.

It could make Mike Bloomberg’s campaign against Big Gulps looks as small as he is.

Or it could give you enough ammo to become really proficient with your AR-15!

Tweet Of The Day

I know this is in response to the satirical website BabylonBee but it is wonderful.

Jayne Cobb approves!

Artistic Inspiration

I never considered Robert Francis O’Rourke, the Hispanic cultural appropriator, to be particularly inspiring. Obviously, I was seriously mistaken.

The Hispanic cultural appropriator known as Beto inspires all sorts of artists.

Here is an example of how he has inspired street artists. The sample was provided by The Gun Writer.


He has also inspired those who work with metal. This particular piece of art will soon be available to the public from the Artist Known As PSA.

If you come across any more pieces of art inspired by Robert Francis, please put a link in the comments.

He’s Right, You Know

MADEbyJIMBOB is an anti-politically correct satirist. He was the subject of a story in The Federalist a few days ago about the memes he puts up on Instagram and one that recently was removed. JimBob was put on notice that his account could be shut down if he has “subsequent violations.

So what did he do that was so objectionable?

He told the truth about the mosque murders in New Zealand and the reaction of the government of Jacinda Adern.

From The Federalist:

When asked what he was hoping people would get from the post, MADEbyJIMBOB said: “The purpose of the meme was explore the perhaps unhealthy relationship between terror, trauma and reactionary legislation. The definition of terrorism is the use of violence or threat with political motivation, the inquiry is, is terrorism being exploited for political action and where is the line between responding to terrorism and rewarding violent behavior with legislation.”


This is a valid question, but one Instagram apparently thinks isn’t worth entertaining on their platform. Whether it be due solely to the mention of terrorism or some perhaps more nefarious politically based antagonism, it’s hard to say why Instagram found this so unacceptable. And there’s no appeal process, so MADEbyJIMBOB might never know.

And the meme:

Copyright MADEbyJIMOB

If you’ve read any of the killer’s off-the-wall manifesto – and I have – you know this was his intent.

As Morgan Freeman would say:

Satire Is Sometimes The Best Way To Get The Message Across

A group of ham actors on YouTube calling themselves “Gun Control Hunters”  have created an excellent satire about red flag laws. The video below is a parody but it gets the message across that red flag laws are dangerous, evil, and contemptuous of the Constitutional rights such as due process.

Share this video with your friends, family, and especially those on the fence about red flag laws aka extreme violence protection orders.

#OneMore

Those guys in South Carolina really know how to stick it in the face of the gun prohibitionists. Palmetto State Armory is selling AR lowers with the logo #ONEMORE engraved on it. They are even on sale this weekend.

If I needed another AR lower, I’d certainly consider it. As it is, I have too many builds planned with the parts bought and not enough time.

Proud Gabby – With Apologies To John Fogarty

I’m reading yet another email asking for money from Americans for Responsible Solutions. They are criticizing the NRA for being respectfully quiet following the Las Vegas mass casualty event. As I continued to read, a jingle started playing in my head to the tune of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Proud Mary. All I could hear was “rollin’ in the blood”.

This led me to rewrite a bit of the first few stanzas of Proud Mary.

Left a good job in the Congress
Workin’ for the Left ev’ry night and day
And I never lost one minute of sleepin’
Worryin’ ’bout the way things should have been


Big money keep on commin’
Proud Gabby keep on beggin’
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ in the blood


Cleared a lot of checks in the District
Pumped a lot of hands down in Tucson
But I never saw the good side of the city
‘Til I hitched a ride as the anti-gun queen


Big money keep on commin’
Proud Gabby keep on beggin’
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ in the blood

 This is probably not the most respectful thing to say about a former member of Congress and I am truly sorry that she got shot by a mentally disturbed young man who had passed all background checks. Nonetheless, I get sick and tired of how the gun prohibitionists roll in the blood of the victims before the blood is even dry.