Impressive In Its Ignorance

Salon.com sponsors a social content site for bloggers called OpenSalon. They describe it thusly:

Open Salon is a publishing platform with a built-in audience. It was developed for writers, photographers and artists of any stripe in need of a smart home for their work (and not one of those giant, anonymous blog networks), and who are hoping to be rewarded for it. After a quick, free registration, you can immediately begin posting your words, images or videos to your blog, start building an audience and even earning money.

One such blogger is Alan C. Baird. His biography lists him as a screenwriter, director, and producer now living in Mesa, Arizona. He named his blog Bloguaro presumably after the Saguaro cactus.

In a post entitled “Gunfight At The Shopping-Cart Corral” he details his experience of encountering a person open carrying in a natural-foods grocery store in Arizona. Lest we forget, both open and discrete carry are legal and widely practiced in the state of Arizona. Indeed, discrete or concealed carry now requires no fee and no license after the passage of Constitutional Carry by Arizona.

The blog post is impressive in its ignorance as well in the level of condescension the author exhibits towards gun owners and gun rights. Here is how he describes his reaction after his European-born wife points out a man openly carrying:

“Whaaaat?!” That really captured my attention. Sure enough, some corpulent 80-year-old a**hole was standing in front of the donut peaches, packing a pistol. Rosewood-checkered grip, tooled-leather holster, the whole bit. Not a law enforcement guy, just some retired jerkoff who evidently wanted to enhance the perceived size of his schlong.

And that sets the tone for the rest of the blog post. Mr. Baird then marches off to confront the manager (notice he didn’t have the courage to say anything to the gentleman who was open carrying) about this affront to his sensibilities. He is told by the manager that Arizona is a Right to Carry State and there is nothing that can be done about it. I probably should note here that Baird moved to Arizona from California. During their discussion, this gem came out:

I pulled out the big guns: “Displaying a gun is an implied threat of violence. His threat has spread fear in your customers. Instilling fear is a hallmark of terrorism. Under some definitions, he has already committed a terrorist act.”

 He finally slinks back to his wife and tells her its legal and nothing can be done. Baird admits that he won’t confront the elderly gentleman who is openly carrying because he thinks he is psycho.

She was silent for a long time. “You’re afraid of him?”

“Duh.”

“Then I will buy you a gun at Christmas. And you will buy one for me.”

“Huh?” I couldn’t believe my ears. Every now and then, she has trouble with the English language. I was beginning to wonder if this was one of those times.

“We will return here on December 26th, and we will stand in front of that old fasz with our brand-new guns, and we will call him out.” ‘Fasz’ is the Hungarian word for ‘pr*ck.’ When she starts peppering her conversation with Magyar expletives, it’s a pretty good indication she’s having no trouble at all with her English. “And if he tries to walk away, we will laugh at the size of his tiny shriveled-up fasz.”

“He’ll draw. You know he’ll draw.”

“He’s old. We’re faster.”

What is it with these anti-gun types that they have all these fantasies of resorting to violence as well as an unnatural preoccupation with the size of a man’s penis? In reaction to an elderly gentleman going about his own business, they want to engage him in a shoot-out and kill him. The psycho in this story isn’t the elderly man shopping for peaches. It is Baird.

In another post on a blog he shares with his wife, he has this gem which he posted a day later:

National Quick-Draw Contest.

Reality-show pitch:

(1) Require all gun-permit holders to enter the National Quick-Draw Contest.

(2) Pair them up in shootouts.

(3) Survivors move into the next round.

(4) Repeat (2) and (3) until the gun problem is solved.

“If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.”

Right. But then you simply declare open season on the people who still have guns, and the cops will mop them up in no time.

In both of these stories, the violent person is Mr. Baird. Oh, how typical.


3 thoughts on “Impressive In Its Ignorance”

  1. Interestingly, if you read the second post, he relates that someone pro gun open carry wrote him a long reasoned letter and proceeded to invite him to shoot at the local range with fee's and ammo provided. This provoked a positive response and may in time help this fellow to see our point of view more clearly and maybe, just maybe won't immediately resort to name calling belittlement the next encounter.

  2. @Kansas Scout: One could only hope. Given that he grew up in a hunting family – even if he found himself not to be willing – you have to wonder if his caustic comments on gun people have more to do with trying to leave his childhood in rural Maine behind than anything else. Either that or his days in California in the film community brain washed him.

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