Oleg Atbashian is obviously a brilliant satirist. His take on Vice-President Joe Biden and a proposal for a buyback of imaginary guns is priceless.
Inspired by the “Toy Gun” buyback program recently initiated by Hayward California’s Strobridge Elementary School principal Charles Hill, Vice President Joe Biden is scheduled to announce today White House backing of a new “Imaginary Gun” buyback program.
“We have been plagued by a recent rash of imaginary gun incidents in our nation’s schools,” said Biden spokesman Aldous Orwell. “Children live in terror because of rampant imagination.”
Step One of the program would entail registration of imaginary weapons in a National Imaginary Terror Weapon Information Tracking System (NITWITS).
Educators will help students fill out a form from NITWITS to see if their imaginations are producing unacceptable thoughts involving a weapon of any kind.
Once the initial database has been created, “At Risk” students will be identified, removed from their regular classes, and subjected to a more rigorous investigation by NITWITS.