Lo, though the Gospel of Matthew spoke of a star in the East, the Gospel of Browning looks to a young prophet from the West. This young prophet called Ian wanders in the desert of the West seeking the wisdom of the earlier prophets of the Lords of the Gun.
And so it was revealed unto Ian during the time of the long nights how vain men had taken it upon themselves to desecrate the Apostle John Browning’s 1911. Thus, these vain men through their vanity gave the Lord of the Underworld an opening with which to seduce the weak into throwing away the work of the Apostle John Browning.
The Lord of the Underworld, who was called by many names including Gaston Glock, used plastic and simplicity as the tools of his seduction. Just as the Israelites of an earlier age were seduced into worshiping a golden calf, so too the latter day weak who began worshiping the likes of the Glock 19, the M&P Shield, and the Springfield XD. This was an abomination before the Lords of the Gun.
The prophet Ian speaketh below and delivers a Christmas message on this abomination.